The Scarlet Ibis

The brown reddish rust-like curtains,
Silhouette the vacant white windows,
Like a blood stain on pale skin.

Laid I—stupor, vacantly.
The cascade of reds n’ rusts,
Precluding all thoughts.

I tried to look away,
In search of impunity,
But all I found had rot.

All at once though,
The reds seem to instigate;
Finally a thought,
Like a sudden paroxysm,
Of a dead scarlet ibis;

The bird with its wounded wings,
That once flapped through the tropics;
The red bird with the reds so pale,
And the eyes of a helpless,

Laid there on the window pane,
—vacantly stupor, hopeless;
Staring at me just as I
Was at my scarlet ibis...

penned on: Jan. 28, '03
7:38 pm

There are just so many countless things going on these days that I hardly get any time to spare for myself. I wish the time could stop for just a moment. I wish those hours that seem like minutes could extend as long as days. I wish I had enough time in a day so I could wake up early in the morning without using that horrid alarm clock; peacefully pray, have a bowl of cereal without hurrying and swallowing, brush my hair for real (instead of that usual untangling in the bus), and do my math homework while waiting for the bus—not while traveling (bumping, and swearing) in it…ahhhh…I wish I had just enough time to do all that and a lot more…buttt it never seems to be possible. Even if I sleep early (which I did only once on the first day of the school year) and even if I have everything ready before I hit the bed—my bag packed, my clothes ironed and my cell right on the table (so I don’t have to look for it when the driver starts getting all crazy with the horn)—time never seems to be efficient enough. I know, I know, if you’re like one of those really punctual people (who somehow surprisingly get the hang of all of it) you’d be thinking just the way my dad does whenever I repeat this story. And yes, I’ve heard that more than many times—that same ol’ never-ending lecture about how “it’s not about blaming the time but it’s you, yourself”. And yes, I have heard that too…in fact I’ve heard that phrase a million times more than that lecture…yes, “time and tide waits for no man”…’tis true and so like always I will agree and admit but still be not able to do anything to change any of all of the shit…I’ll still be running after time and time will never follow. I will never be able to catch up and time will never feel pity on me; it’ll never wait—not even a single time—not even a teeny bit…it’s going to keep changing its way without caring if I was following or not…it’ll never stop…it just won’t ever have any mercy…ahhh yes, time is a terrible thing. When you want it to stop, it won’t and when you want it to stay, it’ll never…

Time will continue to win and we will continue to fail, but none of us will realize that the end is imminent; the few who will though—will fail to do in time...